What comes to mind when you think of the word “marriage”? For many centuries, “marriage” has been the brunt of many jokes. Comedienne Rita Rudner once said, “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Helen Rowland said, “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” What comes to your mind when you think of the word “love”?
Now what do you think people do when you try to combine the words “marriage” and “love”? The comedians lick their chops! Alan King said, “If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books.” I believe the Lord has called us to build our families so that the words “marriage” and “love” go hand-in-hand. When the Father wanted the world to understand His love, He sent His Son to be love incarnate. Our world needs to see love incarnate in our marital relationships as well.
It was 20 years ago last month that I heard the words “breast cancer” attached to my wife’s name. I immediately thought deeply about how important she is to me and how dearly I love her. I couldn’t help but think about how I had treated her over the first 17 ½ years of our marriage. Maurice Maeterlinck wrote in the book, Wisdom and Destiny, “When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.” I recalled the truth of that from when my mother died when I was 17. I was grieved by how many times I had failed to say and show her that I loved her, and I determined in my heart that I would not make that same mistake in the future. By God’s grace I have attempted to tell & show my wife daily that I love her. Unlike the man that said, “I told you on the day we got married that I loved you. If anything changes, I’ll let you know,” I have repeated the words “I love you” thousands of times.
Since Mother’s Day is coming up quickly, I want to speak to the men about loving their wives (and kids about loving their moms and grandmothers). Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, “Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” We desperately need real men of spiritual power today that will LOVE THEIR WIVES! But what does that love look like? How can we make sure it isn’t just words (1 John 3:18)? By following the Apostle Paul’s command and loving our spouse the way Christ loves the church.
Below are just a few of the things the Bible says about the love of Jesus. Read the passages and reflect on the love of Jesus for us. Let it impact the way we love others.
- Unconditional love (Rom. 5:8) – not something we earned or deserved.
- Volitional love (Dt. 7:7; Eph. 1:6f) – an act of the will. A choice no matter what He felt.
- Intense love (Jn. 13:1; Eph. 5:2, 25) – depth of commitment; focus; burning desire.
- Unending love (Jn. 13:1; Rom. 8:38f) – He loved all the way to the finish line (even with Judas).
- Unselfish love (Phil. 2:5-8) – He had an attitude of unselfishness that showed up in His actions.
- Purposeful love (Eph. 5:26f) – He had a plan to make us holy and right with God.
- Sacrificial love (Eph. 5:2, 25; Gal. 2:20; I Pet. 3:18; Rom. 5:6-11; I Pet. 2:24) – He laid down His own life so we could live.
- Demonstrated love (Jn. 10:1-14; 14:1-3; 13:34f; 15:9f; Rom. 8:32; Phil. 4:13, 19; Heb. 4:14-16) – He didn’t just talk about love, He modeled it. His actions spoke as loud as His words.
How can we grow as true “lovers” of our wives? By looking at the way Jesus loves us. His love is so deep and wide that we will never fully comprehend it (Eph. 3:14-21), but we can begin to grasp a little more each day. We can follow His example and begin to demonstrate love in the practical issues of life. We can make sure that they never need to doubt for a moment that we love them, and we even love to love them. Please don’t wait to do this! Every day is a precious gift, and we need to make the most of every opportunity. Our children (grandchildren) need to see that putting the words “marriage” and “love” together is no joke!
For more specific help on having relationships characterized by love and grace, come to “Summer Nights at The Bridge.” One Wednesday nights from June 21 thru July 26, we will have a BBQ dinner followed by a special program for our children, our youth, and our adults. We have some fantastic speakers lined up who will encourage us to have God-glorifying relationships without regrets. More information is available on the church website (https://bridgebible.church/bulletin/this-summer-at-the-bridge/).