There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
(Prov. 12:18 – NASB95)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1 – NASB95)
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Prov. 16:24 – NASB95)
For our vacation this summer, Diane and I took a “Friends and Family” road trip. We drove about 2800 miles up through California to the top of Oregon and then back down the coast. We saw a lot of beautiful scenery, but most importantly, we visited precious people we haven’t been able to see for quite a while. On top of that, we had a lot of time in the car while driving for just the two of us. Over the course of the trip there were a lot of words spoken. Reflecting on the reality of how many words we shared led my mind to several passages of Scripture (like Prov. 4:24; 6:13; 10:11, 13, 18-21; 11:9, 11; 12:18, 25; 13:2-3, 14; 14:3, 25; 15:1-4, 23; 16:24, 27-28; 12:13-14, 19; 16:28; 17:20; 18:7, 20; Mt. 12:36-37; Eph. 4:29-30; Col. 3:8; James 3:1-12). Take some time to read through some (or all) of these and meditate on the power of our words.
Our words reveal what is in our heart (Lk. 6:45). When I came to saving faith in Jesus Christ as a teenager, He changed my heart (Ezek. 36:25-27). One of the more immediate changes I noticed was a turning away from foul and perverse language. The Holy Spirit convicted me that those words were not acceptable or necessary. I praise God that I can’t remember using any profanity since I was a teen. I found a whole new reservoir of nouns, adverbs and adjectives that were available to me. Although the content was relatively easy to change, the area that has given me the most difficulty is the tone of my words. I still find myself at times using a tone that is more impatient and harsh than loving. By God’s grace it is getting better, but there is still room for improvement.
Years ago, I came across a poem by an unknown author that challenged me deeply. After reading it, I realized that I wasn’t as patient and kind with my family as I was with people at work or out in public. It convicted me that I needed to be consistent and godly with my content and tone both publicly and privately. Please read the poem below and see if, like me, you need to grow in this area. Then let’s pray for each other to consistently use the content and the tone of our words to edify the precious people that God brings across our path; especially those in our own families.
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
“Oh excuse me please,” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me too;
I’m sorry I wasn’t watching for you.”
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way, and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,
“While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.”
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
“Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said.
“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”
He smiled, “I found ’em, out by the tree.
I picked ’em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ’em, especially the blue.”
I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”
He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay.
I love you anyway.”
I said, “Son, I love you too,
And I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”