Pastors (and people in other professions) take sabbaticals for a number of reasons with varying results. In these newsletter articles I have been sharing some results in my personal life from the sabbatical I took earlier this year. We covered three so far and now we look at a fourth: the blessings of hospitality and friendships when you travel. (See Mt. 25:35-40; Rom. 12:13; 1 Tim. 3:2; Tit. 1:8; Heb. 13:2; 1 Pet. 4:9 for more on “hospitality.”)
I have written articles in the past on the importance of intimate friendships, but today I want to focus on how they can make travel (vacations) both possible financially and incredibly memorable and meaningful. Some of you may be in a place where finances are not an issue when you consider taking a vacation, but that is not the case for many of us. On our wedding day, in her personally written vows, instead of saying “for richer or for poorer,” Diane said to me, “… in times of abundance – should there ever be any.” She knew she was marrying a pastor and that I didn’t pursue the occupation because of the financial rewards. When we got married, Diane was working full-time for very low pay and I was working part-time at a church (for even lower pay). Two months later we were pregnant with our first child and had made a commitment that she would be a stay-at-home mom while raising our kids. That meant I had to go get another “part-time” job to supplement my income and cover for when she would quit her job (3 months before our son was born). That continued for about 17 months until we raised financial support as “missionary church planters” and moved to San Diego to assist a friend in planting a church.
We were on ever-changing support the next 3 ½ years until 1990 when I was hired as senior pastor at Shepherd’s Community Church. After 5 years of marriage I had my first full-time job, and we lived month-to-month. During those years we learned some practical ways to go on incredibly memorable family vacations even though we had no money to do it … we stayed with friends. By God’s grace, we have been able to develop friendships everywhere we have lived. Both of us have close friends that go all the way back to our childhood & teen years. And ever since those years we have developed and maintained close friendships with a number of people even though many of them have moved and now live all over the country or around the world. It is those friends who have made it possible for us to travel alone or with our family and have a blast!
How does that work? They graciously practice hospitality and open their homes to our family, often for an extended period of time. This was easier on them when it was just two of us, but then it grew to be 3, 4, 5, 6 of us. Now, some of those dear people have invited us to come back with our grandchildren (during Camp Brown Bear). How does this make family travel / vacations possible? There were two significant costs we couldn’t afford with typical vacations: hotels and meals. By staying with friends, the housing was free, and we simply contributed to the cost of groceries and made meals at their homes. What is even better… now, our friends’ children come and stay at our house when they want to vacation in Southern California… and we have a BLAST with them (our friends’ children and grandchildren). Multiple generations of people learning how to be frugal, have meaningful trips as a family, and develop / maintain friendships for a lifetime.
Some of you might be thinking that you want to GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE on your vacation. I certainly understand that desire to have some down / alone time. Most truly good friends are sensitive to that and will give you space. In fact, on at least one occasion, our friends watched our kids for a night or two and sent Diane and I away to have some time just the two of us. Wow! But we have found that being with our friends actually energizes us. We learn about what the Lord has been doing in their lives, how He is using them to advance the Gospel, lessons they are learning, prayers that have been answered. We also find out about difficulties they have experienced and get the glorious opportunity to provide wise counsel, comfort, and prayer support. We laugh, play games, enjoy the beauty of where the Lord has moved them, and watch them love on our kids/grandkids like you can’t believe. Some of them have homes in the mountains and lots of toys (sports equipment, bicycles, motorcycles, boats) and enjoy sharing them. Some also have kids that are the ages of our kids! Our kids loved going to these homes where they could play with their friends. We have lasting memories of hiking, sledding in the snow, riding on innertubes behind a boat, jumping off cliffs into the lake, going to parks, visiting our friends’ churches, and seeing relationships develop that will last a lifetime.
What does that have to do with our recent sabbatical? We were graciously given the money for one trip (a fantastic Alaskan cruise), but beyond that, we didn’t have the financial resources to fly around the world or stay at fancy hotels. So we planned the sabbatical around road trips and staying in the homes of our friends. As I traveled to perform a graveside service, two memorial services, and a wedding, we were able to stay with friends in California, Oregon, and Nevada. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on hotels, we invested in friendships. And we can hardly wait for those friends to come visit / stay with us when they come down to So Cal.
What’s the big lesson here? “Life is about relationships.” And those reciprocal relationships can bless you, your spouse, your children, and your grandchildren in more ways than you can count. Build those friendships and maintain them even if they move away. And show future generations of your family how to do the same. One of the best ways to do that is through hospitality. Let’s make our homes a refuge, an oasis, and a cost-saving place where people can come and experience the love of God through us. You will be so glad that you did!