What is Love?

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh…” “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Gal. 5:16, 22-23)

We are in a battle every day between our flesh and the Holy Spirit. We are moment-by-moment under the control of one or the other (described as a “walk”). When we “walk by the Spirit” we “will not carry out the desires of the flesh.” The flesh produces strong desires for “immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these” (meaning this is not a complete list). But when we submit to the indwelling Spirit we will not give in to those desires. In fact, we will do quite the opposite and will experience a SUPERNATURAL life filled with fruit that the Holy Spirit produces. [Footnote: that is “fruit” singular, meaning that all nine of those qualities will be present at the same time if we are truly walking by the Spirit]

The first aspect of that fruit mentioned is “love.” What a great way to start! In the movie, “The Princess Bride,” one of the characters is “mostly dead.” When they ask him what he’s got that’s worth living for, he replies, “true love.” Later in the film, one of the evil characters tells him that very few people find true love in a century no matter what you read in the fairy tales. How sad! Could it be true that the majority of people in our world never experience true love? Could it be that a lot of believers are not experiencing true love? My observation is that it is true! Therefore, if word gets out that there is true love between believers at SCC, we might have people beating the doors down to see what is going on here!

What is love? Commentator William Barclay defines love as, “Unconquerable benevolence. It means that no matter what a man may do to us by way of insult or injury or humiliation we will never seek anything else but his highest good. It is therefore a feeling of the mind as much as of the heart; it concerns the will as much as the emotions. It describes the deliberate effort – which we can make only with the help of God – never to seek anything but the best even for those who seek the worst for us.”

John said that love is the chief characteristic of God Himself (1 John 4:7-8; John 3:16). God IS love! True love doesn’t just give to others what they want or desire, but what they NEED. God so loved the world that He gave us a Savior. We weren’t asking for one because we didn’t desire one. But God sent one because we needed one!

This character quality of God was clearly demonstrated in Jesus. Billy Graham said, “God proved His love on the cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, ‘I love you.’” Romans 5:8 says, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (cf. Rom. 8:32-39). Jesus is our living illustration of God’s love and the standard for our loving one another (Eph. 5:25). This kind of love overflows our lives when we are born again believers and walk in the Spirit. “…because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

God shows His great love for us, pours out His great love in us, and then calls us to love Him back with the love that He gave to us. According to Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (cf. Mark 12:29-30) we should love God with all our being. True love shows itself in OBEDIENCE to God (John 14:15, 21, 23; 15:10; 1 John 2:5; 5:3; 2 John 6). One person said it this way, “God uses the thermometer of obedience to test the temperature of love.” Jesus said that the two greatest commands are to LOVE GOD and to LOVE PEOPLE. We are to love people the way we love ourselves (Lev. 19:18). It is to be fervent, sacrificial, on-going, and the living proof that we are disciples of Jesus (Rom. 13:8, 10; 15:2; Gal. 6:10; John 13:35; Mt. 5:44; 1 John 3:14).

This is where it gets tough – loving people! Linus (from the Peanuts comic strip) once said, “I love mankind, it’s people that I can’t stand!” But God commands us to love people; all people (even our enemies). That’s what God did when we were His enemies, and He calls us to do the same so the world can see His glory.

What does love look like? How do I know if the Holy Spirit is truly producing it? 1 Cor. 13 describes it for us right in the middle of a section on the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Although these verses are applied to marriages during weddings, the initial application was to the CHURCH! Look at how God describes the way people in the church should be toward one another: “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Cor. 13:4-8a).

Patient = with people. No spirit of retaliation (“getting even”). No anger. “Long-tempered.” Kind = the flipside of patient. We not only take the wrath of others, but we GIVE to those who are our enemies. We do something “useful” for the person that has wronged us (Rom. 2:4; 1 Pet. 2:3; Titus 3:4; Mt. 11:30 – “easy” = kindness). Not jealous = rejoice over someone doing the same thing you do but doing it better. Don’t want what someone else has nor desire to take it away from him or her (i.e., Jonathan & David – 1 Sam. 20:17). Does not brag = not a “windbag.” Not seeking public attention. Talk about Jesus, not ourselves. Not arrogant = not puffed up or conceited. Doesn’t exaggerate. Does not act unbecomingly = not rude or having poor manners. Does not seek its own = selflessness (Mk. 10:45; Phil. 2:3-4). Not provoked = never gets upset or irritated (irritability is a sign of self-centeredness). More concerned with responsibility to minister to others than the rights that we have. Does not take into account a wrong suffered = doesn’t keep books on what others have done to us. Forgive and don’t bring it up again (Ps. 32:2; 2 Cor. 5:19). Does not rejoice in unrighteousness = doesn’t brag about sin. No gossip! Love doesn’t like to hear about sin or pass it on. Rejoices with the truth = truth both taught and lived. Looks for the positive in people and encourages it. Bears all things = shields people from danger. Cover, shelter, and protect people. Forgive others who fail us (Ps. 103:12; Micah 7:19). Believes all things = searches for what is good and gives the benefit of the doubt. Inspires confidence in others. Hopes all things = optimistic. “Optimism is the cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose.” Confidence based on God and His Word. Expects the best in everything. Endures all things = persistent. Hold your ground regardless of circumstances. Stays with people when they go through bad times rather than giving up. Love never fails = never falls down on the job. Never ends. Love abides forever! [Application: put your name before each of the above qualities and see if it is true – “Paul is patient, Paul is kind…”]

1 John tells us that if we are characterized by this kind of love we will be assured that we truly are children of God. Is this kind of love characteristic of us? It can be if we surrender to the indwelling Spirit and let Him produce it in and through us. Walk by the Spirit and join us on Sunday mornings as we learn more about God’s love in 1 John.