“Life is all about relationships.” That has been my motto for many years and I’m sticking with it. In last week’s article I focused on the importance of the content and the tone of the words we use in those relationships. There is tremendous power in the tongue to do good or evil; to build up or to tear down (Prov. 18:21; 11:9, 11).
One of the most profoundly negative ways we use our words (written or spoken) is gossip. Proverbs 16:27–28 (NASB95) says, “A worthless man digs up evil, while his words are like scorching fire. A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends” (see also Prov. 18:8; 20:19; 25:23). Sadly, our flesh enjoys hearing gossip (Prov. 18:8). The problem is that it truly does separate intimate friends, and it can even divide churches.
In his book entitled Killing Giants, Pulling Thorns, Chuck Swindoll told of a statement, etched faintly on a gray slate tombstone on a windswept hill in an English country churchyard:
Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies Arabella Young,
Who, on the twenty-fourth of May,
Began to hold her tongue.
If you are like me, and you don’t want to be guilty of spreading gossip and harming relationships, you are looking for principles to help you know when you should and should not share information about others. Several years ago, I came across an easy to remember acrostic from Alan Redpath that I found very helpful and instructive. I hope it is a good guide for you as well.
In his book, “A Passion for Preaching,” Alan Redpath said, “I once formed a mutual encouragement fellowship at a time of stress in one of my pastorates. The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial.
T – Is it true?
H – Is it helpful?
I – Is it inspiring?
N – Is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
If what I am about to say does not pass those tests, I will keep my mouth shut! And it worked!”
If everyone followed this formula, there would be dramatically fewer posts on social media, which would be a very good thing. At a time when “fake news” dominates, it would be good for true believers to offer truthful words (Prov. 12:19). In an era when anxiety is on the increase, it would be wonderful if our words made the hearts of people glad (Prov. 12:25). After 2+ years of Covid-19 doom and gloom, it would be fantastic to offer joyful and delightful words (Prov. 15:23) that are pleasant, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Prov. 16:24).
We have a paraphrase of Psalms 133:1 on the outside wall of our worship center: “How good and how pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.” The Lord has blessed us with a supernatural unity by His Spirit and has called us to be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph. 4:3). One thing that would help tremendously with that is the elimination of gossip.
At The Bridge, let’s all make a commitment to THINK before we speak, because life is all about relationships, and relationships are profoundly impacted by what we do and don’t say. Then instead of spreading unnecessary gossip about others, let’s all spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ so more people can come into a saving relationship with God through Jesus Christ.